How I Began to Love My Body
I wasted so much of my time not being happy with my body, in fact, I sometimes hated it. I looked at myself in the mirror and compared myself with others. This trap of comparison is poison. Throughout my life body shame has come in waves. Sometimes it was in my own head, and other times it was spoken by others TO me.
This was simply a reflection of the way I felt about myself, I spend a lot of time feeling like a victim, “You wouldn’t believe what he said to me!!!” and getting angry at the societal standards that are not a reflection of real bodies. This peeved me (still does, but in a different way. I no longer take it personally. )
I realize that a size 12/14 will be called Plus Size when the norm is size 0-6 is deemed beautiful and “normal.” I call bullshit, but I no longer take it personally. I see that is it a sickness in society.
Who is to say what is PERFECTion? I say perfection doesn’t exist. We are all works in progress.
Some of have weight that fluctuates, some of us can simply look at a bread basket and gain weight and others have no issue. SOme people feel like hiding when they have a more curvy physique, and others post beauty on Instagram and use hashtags calling attention to their breathtaking beauty!!!
I admit I have struggled with this through my life. I remember a big moment when the wall tumbled and I found a deep love for my own body.
I had my second child and was larger that I felt comfortable with. I wore loose hippie dresses and loved being a mama, it became my identity. I also had a low-level hatred for my body. I was in tears when I tried on my pre-pregnancy clothes as well as tried on styles I loved which I felt made me look awful. I hid in that one hippie dress. I felt pretty in it, it was my safe haven but it limited me a LOT in daily life. I had plenty of friends, but I mostly stayed home and was totally identified with the nursing attachment parent, but I felt low and began to sink into a deep depression.
This went on until I was asked numerous times if I was pregnant, one woman thought I was joking when I told her I wasn’t expecting another child.
Something about this lit a fire under me. You know those moments when you can find inspiration to change. It wasn’t about my weight as much, but my confidence. I had poor posture, wore frumpy clothes and tries to fade into the background and was sick of it.
When I nursed my daughter, she used to knead the fleshy parts on my sides and her tiny nails would even hurt a bit, but I didn’t mind.
I used to feel inferior because I had that extra skin and plumpness around my middle but one day in a flash of inspiration and a flood of tears I realized the miracle my body was (is) and I looked at both of my kids (I had a boy who was 4.5 when my daughter was born) I saw the love in their eyes and felt my daughters loving touch and dependance on me for her very life.
Something cracked open and I began to shed tears for the horrible way I had been treating my body.
I wasted time hating something that my kids needed, I was more precious than their favorite teddy bears. there was this mutual love connection that surpassed mere looks. I realized my beauty. I no longer hated that extra skin, I realized that I wanted to be healthy but it had nothing to do with my looks. I felt glowing and beautiful, the glow one can only have through experiencing divine love.
My body hadn’t been moving much and I felt tired much of the time. I began to crave energy as both of my children got older and wanted to be strong. I wanted to play on the monkey bars with them. I did want change in my health, but the motivation was from love and not loathing.
I found my “why” (why I wanted to be more healthy) and referred to it daily.
I learned and experienced the beauty of voluptuousness and that was my reality and I was loved. I was loved by God (or however you experience Divinity) as well as the pure love from my children.
I wept and grieved the years I hated myself and saw myself as “just” an imperfect body. The years I felt imperfect. The years I saw myself as less than a miracle.
I found my personal relationship with fitness and nutrition but it wasn’t based in hating my body, it was based in love.
I wanted strength, energy and to take good care of the very thing my children loved the most. To mistreat my body in any was was akin to stealing from my children and taking away their sustenance.
Now I am majorly into fitness and nutrition. I even graduated as a Certified Health Coach and I specialized in Holistic Nutrition, BUT that’s not necessary, that was my desire and path. ANYONE can learn to love themselves and improve health at the same time as recognizing perfection. It is OK if you want to have more energy and feel better, less depressed, more love for self and others. Helping others do the same has been important to me.
You start with loving your own body as pure perfection, and really believe it.
Align yourself with positive people and block the haters.
Here is one of my favorite Instagram accounts!!!
@heatheraddley
Check her out on Instagram
@heatheraddley is one of my dearest friends, I look up to her beauty and body confidence.
If you’re ready to let go of that body loathing and find healthy body confidence, send me a message, let’s get to know one another. I can stand beside you regardless of your journey.
KELLY AND HER DAUGHTER (who taught her that important lesson about body-love)
Kelly St Claire is a Certified Crystal Healer and ACM-Advanced Crystal Master through the Hibiscus Moon Crystal Academy, trained Life and Holistic Nutrition Coach through the Southwest Institute of Healing Arts, and Master Hair Designer/Beauty Stylist for over 25 years.
She helps people change negative self- perceptions around their bodies, emotional eating and reinvent their beauty.
She found her way through a deep journey of depression, distorted body image, destructive relationship with food and lack of self-confidence through integrating the physical side of health with the energetic body.
She works with Fitness, Nutrition, Crystals, Supplements, and Self Discovery and is 100% committed to helping you!!!
SHE IS AVAILABLE TO HELP YOU CONNECT WITH YOUR HEALTH GOALS, DON’T HESITATE TO CONTACT HER.
She lives in Richmond, VA where she offers personal beauty care services. She offers health, fitness and wellness coaching.
She has a 25-year-old son and a 20-year-old daughter and loves on her two black cats and her fuzzy, white puppy <3